SEPTASTIC!

things i know (that stoob and dad taught me)

a few nights ago at work, i found myself in a conversation with a younger fellow who told me he recently lost his dad. what was great about it was this: when remembering his dad, he focused solely on the great memories of him. he talked about the fishing trips they took, how his dad taught him how to wrench on cars, and how his dad gave him everything he needed to know to be a good man.

not surprisingly, this got me thinking about my parents and all i’ve experienced and learned from them. i’d be a liar if i said i wasn’t who i am today because of my mom and dad. i can’t remember a time they weren’t there with a helping hand or a kind word of encouragement. my morals, my kindness, my steadfast belief in treating every human being with dignity and respect – it all came from them. and even now, two months shy of my 34th birthday, i still find myself learning from them. i owe them so much.

while there are way too many to list here, i thought to share a few things that always come to mind when talking about my parents and the things i can easily recall them teaching me along the way:

lesson #1 (from dad): everything in moderation

from political beliefs to training for triathlons to sugar on my cereal as a kid – i can’t remember a time my dad didn’t share this little nugget with me, and as much as i sometimes didn’t want to hear it, i knew he was right no matter what he was telling me to apply it to. we often get so caught up in things, and can fall out of balance so quickly. it’s only when we can bring things back to moderation that things just seem to work without snag or struggle.

lesson #2 (again, from dad): many hands make light work

i can’t remember a time when we were doing some sort of work around the farm i grew up on that i didn’t hear my dad say this. sometimes it drove me nuts; other times i loved hearing it. and while it’s commonplace in the world of old sayings, it still remains one of my favorites. while i realize it usually applies to things like manual labor, cooking, and other hands on work, i’ve grown to know it applies to our day to day lives as well. life is tough, and going it alone is so much harder. sharing life’s load with a special someone or a group of pals makes it so much easier, so much more enjoyable, so much better.

lesson #3 (from Stoob): keep that thing in your pants

not a whole lot of explanation needed here, really. i think she told me this around 8th grade or so, and it hasn’t steered me wrong yet.

lesson #4 (from Stoob): things could always be worse

Stoob said this often during her chemo. and every time, i had to look away or go get a snack from the cafeteria – anything to not be there for her to see me tear up. to watch my mom go through the hell of weekly chemo, loose her hair, feel sick and weak way more than she felt not sick and not weak, all after having a double mastectomy – and yet she could still focus on the good things in her life: family, friends, a non-terminal diagnosis. there hasn’t been a time since then i’ve gotten too bothered with something gone wrong in my life or too low that recalling her saying those words hasn’t helped turn things back straight.

lesson #5 (from both): whatever you choose to do, we still love you and are proud of you

it’s probably no secret i haven’t lived the most traditional life, and i’ve found myself traveling down a few different paths thus far in my life. but through it all, my parents have supported me without fail. things change. feelings change. our beliefs may shift, and interests sometimes morph into new interests daily. it’s realizing that those changes are a perfectly acceptable result of personal growth, that embracing those changes with acceptance and love is what’s important. that’s the lesson there, and something my parents have done so superbly with me in all i’ve done. i hope someday i’m able to accept and show compassion to others even half as much as they are able to. i really do.

it may have taken a random conversation with a total stranger to spark this entry, but my parents are never far from my mind. and while i may find myself shaking my head after hearing dad repeat one of his one-liners yet again (or worse: after hearing myself say one to someone younger than myself), it always brings a bit of warmth to by chest. they’re so true, so applicable to life, and have shaped me in ways i’ll never be able to express the gratitude for.

understanding it all

it has taken me a while to write this post – for a number of reasons really. primarily, i’m realizing it won’t be anytime soon i’ll be able to fully process my time in Nepal. there was just so much to take in this time, so many things that happened in a few short weeks. and while some of those things have since ended and others are just beginning, i’m struggling to find a way to completely end the trip and fully get back to my life here. so before i get on with the rest of what i have to share, i’ll preface this by saying i’m not going to chat much about the end of my trip or my overall feelings about my time spent half way around the world. most of it i couldn’t even begin to put into words at this point. also, bare with me if following seems a bit random or jumps from thought to thought a bit more than usual.

i can say the days after i returned to KTM and my pals had headed home went well. i spent some more time at the home, and was able to reconnect with a few of the boys who were no longer living there. i was also able to work out the details on ways to support the children after i left, and am pleased to share that at least for the next few years, education costs for some of the boys will be paid for thanks to the generosity of all those who donated before i left. it goes without saying that a good education in the life of a child is priceless and can lead to so many wonderful things. so thank you, to each and every one of you, who saw the importance of giving to those who need it so much.

what i can’t find the words to say though, is what it all means. the elation yet deep sadness i felt about reconnecting with Bikash, meeting his family, and spending an hour visiting with them. or why it felt so different to be in Nepal this time, and how much more the poverty and unrest affected me than it did two years ago. why was so hard to be away from home when in the past it has always been relatively easy? sure i could share a list of reasons why i felt how i felt, and i’m certainly not saying they are all negative things – some of them are quite the opposite. remarkable, really. but again i ask – what does it all mean? this is where i’m finding it’s taking a lot longer to make sense of it all, and to get to the point i fully understand what to take away from the experience.

it’s funny how much we can grow if we allow ourselves to do so. through the highs and lows, and the happiness and sadness that comes with that growth, i sit here amazed at where i am today. i don’t have regrets. i’m ok with the fact i’ve made mistakes and will certainly make more in the future. i can honestly say for the first time in what seems like a long time i’m truly happy. i’m content. i don’t think there is much in my life i’d change, nor do i really find myself wishing for anything else. i have a wonderful family, some great pals, and a few close people who mean the world to me. and i wonder: while i have little wealth, does that make me the richest person alive? perhaps leaving this time was what it took to make sense of all the living i’ve done in the past few years, and to finally take to heart what it all meant. and for as much as i hope that the time i spent with the children – laughing, sharing, telling them how important and wonderful they are – will positively impact their lives, i can’t help but think they did the exact same for me. how could they not? their ability to make a person smile and feel joy, the way they are able to find happiness in a life often filled with loneliness and sadness, their ability to place trust in total strangers, or the hope they have despite having little reason to do so. for nothing more than a group of ordinary kids, i find them remarkable, and don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully understand how much they’ve changed my life.

out of kathmandu – finally

***DISCLAIMER*** all the pictures in this post were taken with my crappy, yet trusty Canon point and miss camera. so take them for what they are…

ok, so the last few days – where to begin. i knew that coming here was primarily going to be about working with the kids, but i also wanted to take a week or so to actually see what Nepal had to offer. i regretted not getting out of the Kathmandu Valley last time I was here, so I was determined to make it happen this go round. so five days ago, we booked a mini vacation inside a vacation to Pokhara and Chitwan, two pretty popular areas for tourist travel. Pokhara is well known for the Annapurna Range, part of the Himalaya with great trekking, and Chitwan is great for it’s huge national park, filled with elephants, rhinos, bear, crocodiles, etc. so for not a lot of money, we booked our little adventure and were off in a private car towards Pokhara.

our first stop along the way was to whitewater raft, and while the rapids were pretty nonexistent, the lazy ride down the river was hardly dull – the scenery was amazing, the water a beautiful blue, and our guide was great. three hours (and about the cost of dinner back home) well spent.

afterwards, and after changing out of my wet close behind a goat pen on the side of the road, we continued on to Pokhara. and until about thirty minutes before we hit the city, it was beautiful driving.

upon our arrival though, i have to admit i wasn’t thrilled with the area. it was dirty, busy, loud – all the things we were happy to leave behind in Kathmandu. and it was hardly the “natural beauty” everyone here said it was. but a nice dinner and a clean hotel ended the night, and in the morning we made our way up a huge hill to catch the sunrise over the mountains. we froze, but it was well worth it.

afterwards, while returning to our hotel, we received a call from the booking company recommending we leave Pokhara a day early for Chitwan. the elections here are fast approaching, and there was talk of a transit strike by the Maoist Party. in the event it happened, the roads were going to close the following day, and we’d be stranded in Pokhara. so we added one more night’s stay in Chitwan, and after a quick stop at a cave and a waterfall, we hit the road.

besides stopping at a great suspension bridge, the ride was a killer (bad). hours and hours of bumps, bumps, and bumps. and dust. but the bridge was amazing, and almost made the drive worth it…

like Pokhara, driving into Chitwan left a bit to be desired. luckly, we turned off the main road, drove down a long dusty one, and ended up in a super small, quiet town we called home for the next three nights. our hotel was really nice, set right along the river and cross from the national park, and everywhere we went, we were greeted with smiles, waves, and passed by people on bicycles and elephants. it was amazing to say the least.

our first morning started off with an elephant ride, ended with a jeep safari, and neither were a let down. it felt so good to escape the hustle and bustle of Nepal and just get into nature. day two brought a canoe ride in an amazing hand carved boat down a crocodile infested river which turned into an all day hike through the national park, filled with tigers, elephants, rhinos, vipers and boa constrictors, huge spiders, bear, and tons of birds. i have to admit i was a bit hesitant getting out of the canoe on the same shoreline we literally two minutes earlier saw a huge croc resting on, and the ‘safety chat’ before the walk teaching us how to survive attacks from the various animals we’d likely be encountering along the way easily put me on edge, but when in Rome, right? and it was so worth it – amazing, amazing experience.

on the third day, we left out hotel around noon to catch our flight back to Kathmandu. but with the transit strike in full force, we needed to have a military escort most of the way. scary stuff really, especially since we were in the back of an open air jeep. we arrived safely though, said our goodbyes to our amazing guide Prakash, and after a twenty minute flight found ourselves back in KTM.

that was going to be the end of my sightseeing for the trip, and i was likely going to be making my way out to the orphanage pretty quickly after we got back, but Anne, Brenda, and Corby invited me on a helicopter flight to the mountains they booked as a last minute, amazing way to end their trip. i was hesitant to go to be honest – they spent a good amount of money for it, but since it was already paid for and the heli could seat one more, they insisted i went. i can’t say how grateful i am for the opportunity as it was amazing. we flew about 45 minutes up into the mountains, made a brief stop to drop off supplies in a small mountain top village, and continued on, all the way up to 13,000 feet where we had breakfast overlooking Mount Everest. like that trip to florida Ii took with my family a few weeks back, it just didn’t seem like reality. it’s certainly not something people do everyday, but it was an experience i won’t soon forget. again, a huge thank you to you three for allowing me to share it with you.

so tomorrow i’m off for the orphanage, where i’ll spend the next few weeks with with the boys and girls playing games, helping with lessons at their school, and just being there, spending time. i hope to bring you more photos in the coming days, so fingers crossed the new manager eases up a bit with the photo taking rules.

a few days in kathmandu

*i wrote this post about a week ago, but haven’t had good internet until now to upload the photos and post it. so it’s a bit dated, but still good i hope. and tomorrow, i plan to add another post with what we’ve been up to since this post was written (which includes some pretty awesome stuff), so look for that then.

a few days back, my pals Anne and Brenda, along with their friend Corby, flew in from Delhi. we’ve spent the past few days bumming around Kathmandu, and while it’s a neat place to see, it gets old pretty quick. the dust, noise, people – it’s just too much to take day after day. so after checking out a few highlights yesterday, we finally made our way a bit out of the city to Bhaktapur. we were hoping for a bit of a break from the hustle and bustle of KTM, and it didn’t disappoint.

called the dunbar square, the heart of Bhaktapur is the old part of town, filled with temples, narrow streets, open squares, etc. and in it, you can find anything from people drying rice, potters throwing pots, venders selling goods, and tourists taking it all in. it was just what we needed to unwind from a few days in chaos.

i’ll let the pictures do the talking of what we saw today, and hope to fill you in a bit more about our plans for the next few days soon. i’m finding the wifi here to be worse than i remember, so posts are likely going to be short and sweet until i get back. we are planning to head out to Pokhara and Chitwan for a few days, so hopefully i’ll be able to find some better wifi there to fill you in on our plans.

the kiddos

last time i was here, i made about the children here at the orphanage. it’s now a week in, and while i was hoping to get you an updated list, i’m still struggling to learn all the new names. nonetheless, i figured i’d give it a go.

of the original boys, Shivaraj, BJ, Manoj, Nabin, and Anjil are still here. and really, none have changed a whole lot. Shiva is still unbelievably smart and caring. Nabin looks like he hasn’t grown an inch, but is more talkative now. Anjil still has the world’s best smile despite having his arm in a cast (broken two weeks ago while playing soccer), and Manoj still has that mean streak i saw last time i was here. BJ has probably changed the most – he’s no longer the shy kid who says very little. instead, he’s just one of the boys who loves to play soccer, chats about school and his good grades, and tries his best to get out of his chores. like i mentioned earlier, Santa, Tul, Suko, and Bikash have all been placed back with family members, and Ashok is now living in KTM going to university.

so who’s new? i should perhaps first explain why they are new. shortly after the robbery incident i spoke of earlier, Support the Children Nepal was joined with another orphanage, and the resulting home was renamed Nepal Children Development. a new manager was placed in charge of the home, while Rabindra was placed in charge of, well, let’s just say ‘volunteer coordination’. i won’t go into the whole story, partially due to the fact i’m not 100% sure i have the story entirely accurate (language barrier and all) and partially because i’m trying to stay positive while here, but i will say it seems Rabindra isn’t exactly thrilled about the whole deal. and from the sounds of it, i wouldn’t be either. he and Goma now live about five minutes walk from the orphanage and host the volunteers who work at the home. Rabindra also still takes care of the original boys’ tuition at the school, as well as the house rent. i guess the good news is he still has a part in the home, and that’s a good thing. you can tell he really cares for the children there. this would also be a good time to talk pictures – the new manager isn’t too keen on people taking pictures of the kids, so i haven’t been able to get too many. i usually let the children play with my little point and miss, so hopefully there’ll be some keepers there. if i can get any, i’ll certainly share them in future posts.

alright, back to who’s new (to me at least): Nabin’s older sister Nabina is now at the house, and man is she a brassy one. by herself, and around me, she’s all smiles. but when she’s around the other children, especially the girls, she turns it on. she’s never mean; she just rules the roost for sure. there’s a new Bikash, along with his twin brother Akash. both are great, and Akash has a scar on his forehead making it easy to tell them apart. Sapana is the newest gal here, and you can tell she’s super new to the more ‘modern’ community. i’m pretty sure she grew up in very rural Nepal – she knows very little English, cares nothing about her appearance, and is a little awkward with the other kids. still, when i brought everyone notebooks and pens today for some word games, you’d think i had given her a new car. she wrote her name on the front straight away, and was so proud to show me how she could write the simplest words like cat, dog, and car. (she doesn’t know her age, but i’m guessing 11?) it was the first time i’ve seen her really smile since i got here.

let’s see…who else…Angila is adorable, and for only being 7 or so, speaks perfect English. and she walks around making clicking sounds with her mouth all day long. i really like it, and laugh every time i hear it. there’s another Manoj, and while we haven’t shared too much, he does like to sit next to me once and a while and just hold my arm. he says nothing, just sits there. there are five other children, but i just haven’t learned their names yet. three i don’t think i ever will – i swear my mouth can’t pronounce sounds like that. but they are all great, and we’ve had a lot of fun thus far, playing soccer, having scavenger hunts, sitting around playing word games, and just hanging out.

i’m currently back in Thamel, and will be meeting up with my pals Anne and Brenda, along with their pal Corby, who fly in tomorrow. i’ll be away from the orphanage for a few days, but am excited to get back – of course to spend more time with the children, but to hopefully do some work at a local children’s hospital and help out at the children’s school as well – English lessons i’m told. shit, i don’t even know if that’s what i’ll be doing and i’m already nervous!

UNO. lots and lots of UNO.

having settled in to my new place rather quickly, i’ve spent the past few days at the orphanage. but full disclosure first: i’ll admit i was a bit uneasy upon my arrival a few days ago – the older boys were a bit standoffish, and the younger ones, while friendly, seemed more interested in their games than the new guy at the door. and because Rabindra came and got me rather quickly, i didn’t stay long; only a half hour or so that first day. so as i walked back to the volunteer house, i found myself wondering how my time here would go. i remember thinking how much things can change in just a few years.

thankfully, day two started out wonderfully, and i’m happy to say it’s been great since. still not fully adjusted to the eleven hour and forty-five minute time difference, i find myself waking up around 5:00 in the morning. after a bowl of cereal, i’ve been heading out on an hour run around 5:30, and by seven, i’m eating a second breakfast of white rice and a vegetable. i’d rather not have Goma go to the trouble of making this, but despite my repeated attempts of kindly reminding her she doesn’t need to, she continues to do so anyways. still too early to head over to the orphanage at this time, i usually make some black tea and spend some time reading on the front step. i picked up Gone Girl, a novel by Gillian Flynn while at the airport in Delhi, and i have to admit i bought it for the simple reason i remember seeing it on a best seller list back home a few weeks back. turns out it’s a missing persons novel, filled with undertones of relationship woes and personal struggles. not my first choice, preferring more feel good types of stories, but i’m finding it interesting none-the-less.

around 9:00 or so, after a short trip to town to use the internet at a swanky holiday resort called the Park Village, i head over to the orphanage. both days so far, the children have been playing soccer when i arrived, so i’ve been trying my hat at that. around 10:30, they eat breakfast, and by 11:00, we’re right back to playing games. UNO is VERY popular here, and playing it feels like the final round of the World Championship Poker Tournament in Vegas. it’s intense, the kids are all very animated while playing, they move at a rapid pace, and winning is celebrated with a dance by the lucky child. round after round it’s the same, yet for some reason it never gets old.

when outside, we play all types of games down on their soccer field. yesterday, we had a rock throwing contest, followed by a scavenger hunt which was a huge hit with the kids. later, sitting down at the edge of the property on a large stone wall, we played round after round of a memory game my family always played in the car on long trips down to visit family in the southern part of the state when i was younger. “I went to the store and bought an Apple”, followed by the next person repeating what the first person said, adding a new item following the letters of the alphabet. turn after turn, it’s gets progressively harder as the list of items grow. with the kids, it was ‘i went to Pokhara and bought…’ or ‘i went on vacation and went to…’ Shivaraj won every time, which was no surprise – he’s one of the brightest kids i’ve ever met, and he is so great with everyone here. being the oldest now, he’s taken on the role very well. i find myself wondering how different things would be for him growing up in the States, or a country where he could be involved in the arts or organized sport or school programs. i asked him what his plans are after he graduates in two years time. his reply? a shoulder shrug.

while i was hoping to share some photos of the children with you, i’m holding back a bit on taking a ton of them since i’m very new to a lot of the children here. while i’ve been here before, and most have warmed to me very quickly, this is still their home, and i’m still a guest here. the last thing i want to do is make anyone feel uncomfortable by having a new person taking a ton of pictures or making them feel like they are on display. i’m here for a while though, so i’ll make sure to grab a few before i go. until then, i thought i’d post up a few from my first week here. some are from Kathmandu, others are from the drive out. the rest are from around Budhanilkatha and the orphanage, all made with my trusty point and miss Canon Powershot. i’ll try to make some better ones with my nicer camera, but truth be told, that little thing is just way too easy and convenient to carry around. so while not the best quality pictures in the world, they still should give you an idea of what it’s like around here.