i won the lotto.

it’s true. i matched 3 of 5 numbers and won a whopping seven bucks. ‘seven more chances of winning the big one’ i thought as i cashed in my ticket.

i play the lotto. religiously. twice per week, same numbers every time, and i never play more than one dollar per drawing even when the jackpot soars to 100’s of millions – that’s just bad luck. normally, i don’t get my hopes up about winning, although i’ll admit i was a bit bummed after not winning the $500 mil a month ago. still, i was back at the gas station the day after buying my next ticket to freedom, listening to all the idiots saying things like ‘i really thought i had a chance’ (like buying $20 worth really ups your one in a ka-jillion odds at winning) or ‘nah, i’ll pass on a ticket today. what’s the point now.’ (WHAT’S THE POINT?!? $10 MILLION DOLLARS IS THE POINT!!)

so i’m a rational guy. i know the odds are not in my favor to win. and with my shit luck, the odds are even worse. then why do i continue to play? easy. it gives me a chance to dream twice a week. and while i certainly catch myself daydreaming loads more than that during the week, it’s always a bit more exciting to think about what i’d do with $1,000,000. hell, it sure beats dreaming about the prefect grilled cheese, easily running 100+ miles straight like the Tarahumara, or veggies that don’t taste less like ass.

i usually play the ‘what would i do with the money’ game, although i sometimes play ‘what wouldn’t i do with the cash’ – this usually comes after watching a few hours of HGTV. people like kimmy, the blonde southern bell on house hunters complaining that the 4,500 square footer is too small for her, her husband, and her toy poodle poopsie. “i mean really, hun, there are only five bathrooms, and one isn’t even a full bath. right babe? babe? you listening babe?” or leonard, the spray-tanned, bermuda shirt clad bachelor on million dollar rooms justifying the purchase of his fourth ferrari due to the fact his motorized car elevator in his garage the size of my high school has room for (you guessed it) four cars. heaven forbid the fourth stall sit empty. the horror!! the rich, rich horror!!

so what wouldn’t /would i do with all that dough? i wouldn’t go on some crazy spending spree. i wouldn’t buy a house. i’m pretty sure i’d still fly coach, and i’m confident i wouldn’t develop a taste for caviar. i have no interest in that stuff now; money wouldn’t change that. instead, i’d keep my place, my car, my belongings – and why wouldn’t i? my place is great, my car is fantastic, and i’ve spent years collecting my things, most of which are heirlooms or one-of-a-kind finds. plus, i’d likely not be around much to use those fancy new things. instead, with my new loot, i’d travel. EDIT: i’d travel with a purpose. six months in rural russia teaching kids to read, followed by three months in costa rica helping with sea turtle rescue. i’d get back to Nepal, making sure those kids never went to bed hungry ever again. and after that, i’d just keep going. i’d build wells, schools, and clinics, digging and building right alongside the locals. i’d sweat and freeze, laugh and cry, and hopefully finally find a bit of peace doing what i really feel i should be doing. at 32, i’d finally start living life.

that’s my daydream, my idea of a perfect life. it’s almost as if winning the lotto once would open a world of winning it over and over again with each new volunteer opportunity i undertook. so for a chance at that future, i’ll gladly continue to pay my two dollars a week. wouldn’t you?

florida aka PTPMO

so i just got back from a week in florida with my family. i’ve been there plenty of times before, and i’ve seen disney, busch gardens, universal, the beaches – the whole lot – in previous trips. still…

HOLY SHIT.

the good:
– if you’re savvy, you can get free BOGO tickets to all the parks. i’ll say no more.
– i wasn’t at work for a week. then again, with how much i hate my job these days, jury duty would probably make this list.
– despite hating the sun, the weather was a nice break from the snow and cold.
– siesta key beach. my mom always raves about this beach being ‘the best in the world’, even though she has never been to a beach outside the states. but to her credit, i think she may be on to something. it was pretty darn good.
– Legoland. well done, creators. perfect for families with kids 4-12ish, this place almost rejuvenated my faith in logical thinking. almost. example: in the lines for the roller coasters, which by the way are small enough for 40″ers, there are lego building areas for kids to play in while parents stand in line. kids are in eyesight of the parents the entire time and don’t have to waste half their day standing in line, bored out of their minds. very cool.
– tourists. i always enjoy people watching, and it was at its finest this past week. mixing euro trash with trailer trash always makes for some interesting human interaction.

the absolute horseshit:
– the price of everything. 90 bucks for a day pass to disney? are you kidding me? i can ride 30 year old rides at the local 4H county fair. and the admission there is free. $7 for a kids pizza meal? if i wanted a silver dollar sized undercooked pizza, i’d buy an Eazy-Bake oven. sure, the initial investment would be more, but at least i’d have something to show for the money i spent. (and not just an empty stomach)
– asshole drivers. scenerio: 70 mph speed limit. three lanes. not even close to rush hour traffic. 67 mph driver? far left lane. nothing pisses me off more than having to pass people on the right. it’s not safe, it causes congestion, and i have to use my left hand to give them the finger. i’m way better with my right.
– toll booths. florida’s are by far the worst in the country. no dollar bill feeders, forcing you to have exact change at 5:00 in the morning on an off ramp in the middle of f-ing nowhere. who the fuck carries paper currency anymore, let alone exact change? and heaven forbid you install a credit card scanner at the booth; that just would’t make any sense at all. instead, you’re forced to use that dirty, too small change collecting basket designed for two things: not catching thrown coins and pissing you off.
– tourists. yup, they made both lists. why? because despite the entertainment value they provide, they are annoying. from their idiotic dress to stopping in the smack dab middle of busy walkways to screaming on their mobile phones in the middle of a restaurant (while wearing a ridiculous Dumbo hat), all they do is find ways to piss me off.

sure i could go on and on, but in the end, it would only end up pissing me off more thinking of all the idiots i had to deal with during the week. and i don’t want it to be that way – i had a really nice time with my family, and have to say that while i’ll probably never go back to that asshole infested wasteland ever again in my entire life, i’m glad i went.

*PTPMO – place to piss me off

really? (with this seth, not seth meyers)

i downloaded a new app for my phone called wander. the jest of the app is to meet people around the world, and have them be your “guide” around their city for the week. in return, you act as their “guide” around your city, and in theory, everyone’s happy. sounds simple enough, right?

wrong.

things i’ve realized since commencement of said app:

– there are assholes in every county.
– there are lazy people in every country.
– there are a ton of people in japan and south korea using iphones.
– and of those tons of people using the app there, NONE of them use the app properly. sure, they love to see what i have to share, and enthusiastically reply with comments like ‘ooohhh, that photo beautiful’ or ‘good luck at job yesterday!!” – but none of them have shared a single picture or word about their world.
– my routine is pretty boring. up at the same time whether i set my alarm or not. out walking to work at the same time, seeing the same cars pass day after day. same sandwich / spaghetti-o / boca taco lunch daily while watching old episodes of the office. same run, bike, or swim workout post work, and i’m off to bed by 9 or so like clockwork.
– my city is visually dull.
– my office is insanely visually dull.
– my apartment isn’t.
– the weather this year has been crazy.

i’ll likely give the app a few more tries, and hope to start meeting people outside asia. i mean, that’s the whole point of it – meeting people from all around the globe and not just from japan and south korea. i’m hoping for a connection in south america or europe. brazil, chile, germany, or france. oooh, france! that would be lovely. i hear they are super friendly towards americans there.